PATIENCE

     Several weeks and still jobless. I keep my outlook on the bright-side though, and with couple interviews lined up, things may have that brighter outlook.

     Another bright spot on the horizon is finally my HHG (house hold goods) will be delivered in just a few short days (insert big happy dance here).  More clothes finally (haha) and I can get crafty relatively soon.  Not quite immediately but you get my drift.

     As for all else.....There are 31 days until I see my fun, loving, punky girl, can't wait!!!!!! Miss her so terribly much.  All our cuddles and hugs and crafty times together.  Still can't do on just a whim of course. Since she will be residing with her dad, but I will be stoked when I can see her.

     As for the whole caboodle with my one day to be EX....(big ole sigh) its frustrating. LOL  He encourages me in most all I do i.e. finding job, working out, etc. However there is no other support coming from him as of yet, we will see what happens once the final word of divorce is given.  I am thinking he wants me to figure everything out first on my own two feet or some crazy idea like that...who knows but he himself.  Divorce sucks when sill love the other person, it is not an easy concept to accept and move forward on just like that.  Congrats you have moved on but there's those of us still on the back burner waiting to see where we are really suppose to conform into these new situations and standards we have set.

     Patience is difficult at the best of times let alone when feeling like the tother woman on the outside looking in.  So take the following quote into consideration....

and strive to be an only for someone and live to your fullest.

     Its gonna be terrifying and you may even get apprehensive, but don't let it stop you.  Chase those dreams and find someone where you both will be each others ONLY!!


Patiently finding my dreams and only!

Emotional

Yes I am one of those ladies, who could probably cry at the drop of a hat LOL. Went a little over board today I am sure as have wound up with a head ache. Key note if you wind up ever getting divorced be sure at least on the same continent. Not being able to talk to my daughter as much is not one of the funnest things out there. In turn at times she is feeling like I don't want to talk to her or not. Which is not the case. She is my number one person out there.

This week has had many things happening. Have applied for quite a few jobs but also have started considering the prospect of re-enlisting to start reaching my goals. but with that comes even less communication. And means that she will eventually probably get more time with not only her father but fathers I guess for lack of better term who he now considers to be his wife. Because we all know that currently still the mistress here LOL.

Makes you feel just a little further apart. Its not a great feeling but still I am trying to take those steps back and a breather. I don't want to lose kid or the friendship had with husband still contemplating the friendship with the new "wife". Once breath at a time is all that anyone can do right?!

But anyways in my jump around skip about way....Looking for jobs still, contemplating the Army or Navy and helping out sister-friend with things she has going on here. Like we just created a couple of Mommy and Me gift baskets for a huge cheer and football raffle to be done towards the end of the season. Will see what this next week shall bring.

Mean while I may not being talking to soon to be ex a lot but that doesn't stop you from loving them. It hurts each day to know that you are no longer able to make them happy and have gone on to another. To me at times its like not quite good enough but then I must remember different people I am good enough or I wouldn't be on this earth. Need to keep repeating that in my head and move on and put myself out there and make decisions that are good for me. Easier said than done.


Just keep breathing

Looking Back

Now I know my husband (soon to be ex, must get that ingrained) and I have agreed that we are divorcing on the grounds we don't want to hate each other and our differences have just become to great...Got that! But while you are still married you don't go find another and still stay with the current one. I don't care if they are a country apart...You make an effort to see them twice while still married doesn't make the current wife, who is now feeling like the mistress, yet can't make things work?

I have done my best to approach everything from a good stand. I do not want our little girl hurt in any of this more that she already is.  I want her to not have to worry about struggling or getting mad at the other parent. That can be so frustrating as a parent. So many of those divorcing hate each other and take it out with the kids. Please if you are getting a divorce don't let the kids suffer for it. Try to see beyond all differences and keep the fighting between you and that significant other at the time. Don't let the kids suffer through it, unless of course there is abuse(that's a whole other situation).

No crafting going on currently. All my stuff is being sent from over seas. Trying so hard to find a job instead. Allora!!! Getting back into the work force is not easy what so ever. Might be getting few scrapbook things this weekend from neighbor to my sister's house, so that could be interesting :)

Little note before I get off for the day, if any frustration or aggression go, go workout, walk, bike, something that will make your mind unwind and clear things up for you to think more clearly while you go through everything in your life.

That Other Women ;)

The Other Woman

So ever get that low feeling down in your gut that you are the other woman? I have on few occasions lately. Being the other woman is not what its cracked up to be is it ladies??!! It goes double for when you are actually the wife!! 

Yes I said it. I am the other woman but yet I am the one married. Didn't even really find out till after we said were going to get a divorce. We say it's because we don't want to hate each other down the road and the fighting needs to stop. But to me that just isn't quite meshing completely still. Will see if it gets through in another few months.

Yes this Blog is having many transformations and its going to go through one more. I am keeping up the crafty part because we all know that I love it :) But also the whole blog has been deleted and now I am starting over. Must start from the basics just as I am doing now.  So here in the future there will be additions to all that wonderful craftiness, but along with it I shall talk of being that other woman and see if I can get it worked out in my head how things should be. 

Oh but lets not forget that during this process I have no job, pretty much no college and no 'real' home of my own. Considering I have been a stay at home mom for quite some time and last almost two years on the other side of the world. I have just moved back to the states and living with my sister currently. I have some support but there is only so much they can do for you, if you know what I mean.

But this little girly below is who I am going to survive and achieve all I can for not just my self. She is actually wearing one of my recent accomplishments :) I created a hat from crotchet. If you only knew what it took LOL 

Crocheting is one of those things tried to learn early in life and didn't take, now it does. This will be one of those things for busy work in the quite hours when not working or going to college when she is at her dads that I shall be creating. Next to tackle is a scarf to match.

Next week on this wonderful blogging world will continue the story of being that other woman and how I am dealing with it all. Maybe I am just venting (but need it) or maybe just maybe I can help someone else out there that maybe in similar situation. To all the Other Women out there I know how you feel.